History of OCD, depression and anxiety

"Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder in which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations (obsessions), or behaviors that make them feel driven to do something (compulsions).Often the person carries out the behaviors to get rid of the obsessive thoughts, but this only provides temporary relief. Not performing the obsessive rituals can cause great anxiety. A person's level of OCD can be anywhere from mild to severe, but if severe and left untreated, it can destroy a person's capacity to function at work, at school or even to lead a comfortable existence in the home." 

- https://www.psychologytoday.com/conditions/obsessive-compulsive-disorder

When I was young, I used to wash my hands obsessively, so you could say I had an OCD for hygiene. I was probably 5 or something. This issue has gone away after some time.

In primary school, I developed OCD again due to a fear of unreasonable things. The fear was if I don't do something a certain amount of times, unreasonable things can happen. It sounds pretty silly, even for people with OCD, but it's hard to help it, because it becomes a habit to do something a certain way or certain amount of times. There are many forms of OCD.

I went to see a psychologist on a regular basis to help me cope. It definitely helped me and, if I can recall correctly, I went on Zoloft. Now that I see OCD is an anxiety disorder, my issue might lie more on the anxiety side. I think anxiety can cause depression and vice versa, and that anxiety is the fear of something, while depression is the focus on the negative. So it's as if anxiety is more about things in the future, and depression, things about now.

In school, I was quite the quiet person. I didn't talk a lot to people I don't know really well. I was and still am quite sensitive to people when they express anger or aggressive behavior. Sometimes today I just run out of things to say to new people because I'm not sure what their interests are. Today, I might have a fear of saying something boring that the other person is not interested in if I don't know them well.

In high school, I went through a shy phase with girls. I also struggled with depression and later, went on Serdep.

After university I had symptoms of anxiety which could sometimes get really high. And from there, I would say I developed social anxiety. I went to see a psychiatrist and I am also on Fluanxol now. The OCD seems to be minimal, but a fear of not checking something obsessively still occurs, but OCD doesn't bother me as much as it has before.

If you're prescription renewal happens a (few) days after you're pills have finished, like mine at the moment. Just hold on. I think I had a bit of a withdrawal yesterday, but some good music helped me. Make sure you listen to positive lyrics and music though, even if you are a rock/metal fan like me.