Quite the episode

Good day, I'm going to discuss quite the episode I had yesterday with anxiety and depression. It is something I have been living with for a while now and thought that it would be a good idea to post and write my feelings down to help me cope.

So, I decided to start this blog and to share it, because maybe, just maybe, it might help someone and make them realize they are not alone.

On the 4th of July (interesting date to begin with), I had this intense feeling of wanting to cry and a strange dizziness that only occurs once in a while. I can describe the dizziness as a light headed feeling I get everytime I turn my head. I called the pharmacy because I thought I had one more month prescription left (my prescription is Fluanxol and Serdep). Nope.

I was feeling sad, miserable and not wanting to do anything for a while. If I can recall properly, also a feeling of hopelessness and quite a quick heart pounding, and as if something heavy was laying on my chest. I started to listen to some music to help my mood. The first band was not helping me too much (I like hard rock and metal sometimes, but would not recommend most of it in such times, unless it's got positive lyrics and helps you cope), but the second band was fine.

Oh, by the way, I looked up some of the types of music people like to listen while they are depressed and came across Milo Greene - What's the Matter EP. They are awesome.

I went and read an article about depression and anxiety and how they are linked. From my experience and what I have read, the following information was drawn and focused on from the article. I'm not sure if it is correct, but it makes sense.

Anxiety is caused by fear of something. Social Anxiety, I would say, is probably the fear of being rejected, saying something stupid and looking like a fool in front of people (I am probably much more of an introvert than an extrovert because of it, I can get anxious in front of people). I think my biggest fear in social situations is not being able to start/continue a conversation and cause an enduring silence to happen and, if I get too comfortable in a social situation, to cause people to dislike me for who I really am.

Depression is the feeling of hopelessness and not wanting to do anything or get excited by something. The irony of depression is that it can be curable, but it might cause one to think that it's not.

The two can go hand in hand when depression causes you to not do anything and anxiety makes you think about the negative things that could happen, causing you to not want to do anything even more.

When I get depressed, it can cause me to just chill and relax in my own comfort zone at home, or even cause me to not want to go to gym. Even though gym can help my anxiety and depression. The key here might be to get a gym partner or to really push myself harder than most people to go.

I know gym can help a lot if you haven't tried it out. My next appointment is not too far in the future, so I should be on prescription again soon.